Moving FOURward....

It's finally hit... the excitement period! I'm getting restless. It could have something to do with the fact that I did absolutely nothing at work all day today. The kids finished May 16, and the teachers are still there... killing time...and it's only Tuesday. I have to make it through Friday of this! Anyways, I'm getting all antsy and excited to see everyone... especially my Bama Boy! Four days until I don't have to have an ocean between us anymore~ now that's a reason to be EXCITED!!!

Cinco Dias...

I have 5 days left in Puerto Rico... so in honor of them, I figured I would share 5 lessons I've learned while being here...


Lesson #1 Never forget to pass along your blessings; sharing is caring.
I have been amazed by how eagerly everyone here has been to share however little or much they have with me. Whether it's a car ride, a shower, or rice and beans, people were never hesitant to help me in any way they could. It's made me so much more aware of just how much we have... and how much God has blessed us. I think I'll always be a little more ready to pass on my blessings from now on...

Lesson #2 Never take your shower for granted, or your clean water.
Now, I've always thought I was a pretty grounded person in most regards. I don't feel like I'm someone who has to have the newest and latest of everything... but I learned true appreciation during my stay here. My house does not have hot water... which means that I was never able to take a hot shower. Don't worry, you get used to the cold showers more quickly than you'd think, and honestly, with as hot as it gets here... sometimes they are nice =) Anyways... I thought God was teaching me a good lesson about appreciating the blessings in my life... even the little ones, and I was okay with learning the lesson. Well... apparently He thought I needed a little more intensive course, because our shower broke. I mean... no water comes out of it through the shower head, or the bath faucet. 2 1/2 months later and a gallon jug that's become my new best friend... I'm ready for a shower. A REAL shower. I don't even care if it's hot or not. I've had some people here ask me how I dealt with that... and I told them my honest answer~ at first I was irritated, but then when I was dumping water on my head I was reminded of how many people would give anything for what I had... clean water. Once you think about it like that... it doesn't seem so bad.

Lesson #3 Never take your independence for granted; even if gas is $4/gallon.
I don't have a car here. It didn't seem like it was worth the hassle for one year... Luckily, I've had some wonderful people who, by now, must feel like a taxi service for me! Even with all of their kind help of transporting me to places I needed to go... I still missed the ability to just get up and "go" whenever I wanted to. Where I live you can't really go for walks... it's hard to explain, but if you were to see it, you'd understand. I felt very cramped inside of a room a lot of the time... so before you complain next time that you're bored... or there's nothing to do... really think about what you're saying. There are endless opportunities in front of you. Go for a walk. Take a drive. Spend time in a room other than your bedroom... I know I'm looking forward to that.

Lesson #4 Never forget what it feels like to be the minority; help others.
I have been part of the majority my entire life in so many ways... until July 18th of 2007 when I moved to Puerto Rico. I was in a place where I looked different than everyone around me (Well, kinda. I got confused for a Puerto Rican several times...) I spoke a different language, ate different food, and listened to different music (Hello Country! I can't wait for a radio station that plays that!) The point is, I learned what it felt like to be in the other person's shoes, and I am making it a point not to ever forget that in the future. It has made me more aware of others and their possible needs that I could help with, instead of letting them struggle through on their own. It's made me less egocentric, and more open eyed to those around me, whether I know them or not.

Lesson #5 Never forget that if God calls you to it, He's going to get you through it!
I made it, and I've had fun along the way. A year ago, I was a wide-eyed girl from the farm who had never seen a beach, let a lone an ocean, or even ridden on an airplane... and now I've lived on a tropical island. Crazy, huh? Not really. That's what happens when you let the love of God cast out all fear in your life. Some people think that if you follow the Lord, you're going to have this boring life full of rules... well, this last year of my life has proved to me that that is anything but true... God has grown me and stretched me in so many ways that I cannot even completely even see/know yet. I am not the same girl who came here last summer... my faith has deepened drastically, my view of myself has improved, and I've realized how to utilize the strength within me that comes from the Lord. Never did He leave or forsake me... not even on an island. This has been the best experience of my life, and if you asked me tomorrow to do it over again, I would... without hesitation. I have learned how to live love here... and that's been the most important lesson I could have hoped to learn.

6 days...

Less than a week until I get to see my Bama Boy! I can't wait, and I can't get this Train song outta my head either! I just want to get to him!!

Well an airplane's faster than a Cadillac
and a whole lot smoother than a camel's back

But I don't care how you get to me
Just get to me

Parasail or first class mail
Get on the back of a Nightingale
Just to get me, I don't care just get to me
Prokeds, mopeds take a limousine instead
They ain't cheap but they're easy to find
Get on the highway point yourself my way
Take a roller coaster that comes in sideways
Just get to me- yeah

Go on hitch a ride
On the back of a butterfly
There's no better way to flyTo get to me I look around what I got
And without you, it ain't a lot
I got everything, with you, everything.

Maybe you could pollinate over
The Golden Gate
Take a left hand turn
At the corner of Haight
And then a sharp right
At the first street light
And get yourself on a motor bike
And if you think you'll
Get stuck in a traffic jam
That's fine, just send yourself
Through a telephone line
It doesn't matter how you get to me
Just get to me


Go on hitch a ride
On the back of a butterfly
There's no better way to flyTo get to meI look around what I got
And without you, it ain't a lot
I got everything, with you, everything.

Cause after every day
The wind blows the night time my way
And I imagine that you are

Above me like a star

And you keep on glowing
And you keep on showing me the way
And I imagine that you are
Above me like a star
Shine Shine Shine...

Go on hitch a ride
On the back of a butterfly
There's no better way to fly
To get to me
I look around what I got
And without you, it ain't a lot
I got everything, with you, everything.
Go on hitch a ride On the back of a butterfly

There's no better way to fly

To get to me
I look around what I got
And without you, it ain't a lot
I got everything, with you, everything.
I got everything, with you, everything I got everything, with you, everything Yeah...

Cocoon...

The Transformation...

Life is one big change because it is, in itself, a series of constant changes. I have different feelings towards that at different points in my life. Sometimes the changes are exciting, scary, challenging, needed, wanted, resisted...

I feel like my life has been changing a lot in the last several years. I graduated from high school and went to community college for two years and then off to ISU for a year and a half. I came home and did my student teaching for a semester. Then I started my new job at Chatham Elementary. One year later I bought my first house. 9 months later I felt called to move to Puerto Rico... and now, one year later I'm packing things up, ready to go to IL for a month to visit my family before I pack my belongings again and move to AL. Change... constant change.

There is a part of me that would like the change to stop for a bit. I would just like to be "settled" with a house, family, dog, and a white picket fence. Maybe that day will come, but maybe not... I am a person tempted to be complacent; to become stagnant. In my prayers to the Lord I have often asked for the Lord to help me in this area... maybe this constant change is His way of doing that. It certainly keeps me on my toes and depending on Him in every aspect of my life...

I admit that recently, although I'm very excited about the upcoming changes in my life, my attitude has been one of fatigue. I have felt like I need a breather... and honestly, a little resistant to this process of change... until last night...

Last night I was thinking about all of these changes that are ahead of me... new home, new job, new people surrounding me, new life with Scott, etc. As I was thinking of these things I was reminded of the beauty of change. Oh sure, I've always found beauty of change in nature... I grew up on a farm where the land around me was in constant flux, but last night my mind drifted to the butterfly...

As a child I loved willy wiggle worms. I suppose it's more correct to call them caterpillars, but I called them willy wiggle worms. I loved to watch them crawl down my finger and pet them, feeling how soft their fuzz was. In fact, I was on a mission to protect them. I would find them on our driveway all the time, and I would rescue them and move them to the grass so that my dad wouldn't run over them in the truck. Even though willy wiggle worms can be kind of odd looking, there was always something fascinating to me about them. I was amazed that the wiggle worm was going to turn into a beautiful butterfly...

I also loved butterflies as a child... I still do. I think they are one of the sweetest, most delicate and beautiful creations of God. When I was little my mom and I used to look at a book full of different kinds of butterflies and pick out our favorites. It was a favorite pass time of ours. We talked about the willy wiggle worms, and the butterflies, but we didn't spend too much time talking about the cocoon. Oh sure, I knew the process, but that middle stage was never something that I focused on too much. I guess I thought it was boring because I couldn't see what was happening...

Years later I still love willy wiggle worms and butterflies, but I identify so much more with the cocoon. Though my attitude towards change can sometimes need a tweak here and there, I am learning how the life cycle of the butterfly can teach me so many things about how God transforms us into new creations as His Word promises...

You see, when we look from the outside at a cocoon, we see just that... the cocoon... nothing more, nothing less. It appears to be an unexciting, simple sack just hanging around. However, on the inside the changes that are occurring are vast. The butterfly is fighting for its life to make it out of the cocoon... and it is anything but stagnant or still. The changes that are occurring are forcing movement. It's life or death for the butterfly...

In thinking about this concept, it really made me realize how our attitude toward spiritual change can be life or death... and we all know it can certainly be a struggle too... but the end result is worth it... you become what God has intended for you to be... a beautiful butterfly.

So... as this time of transition is surrounding me, and I feel like I'm fighting like crazy to make it through it, I'm learning to rest in one important reminder...

No matter how hard the butterfly struggles to break free of the cocoon, the cocoon will protect it until it has been developed enough to flourish. I'm taking comfort in remembering that God is my cocoon. He wraps His arms of love around me and protects me from all that could harm me and surrounds me while I fight through these changes... in HIS time, when I am developed enough through His grace and mercy, I will break free and be a butterfly.

Until then, I'm resting in His love that is my cocoon.

Everlasting...

Because music says it better than I can sometimes....

Heart Storm...

There's a storm in my heart now. There are some lessons in life that are hard to learn, and right now I'm learning one of them. My only comfort comes not from man, but from my God. We all have ideas in our heads... notions of how things should be or not be. As we grow further in Christ we have to learn to lay those at the foot of the cross, even in the midst of the storm, and wait. We have to learn to wait on our Almighty God. Waiting is something that I'm not too good at. God gives me ample opportunities to learn patience. Although I'm still lacking in that Fruit of the Spirit, I'm striving to get better at it, but it's not always easy... especially in the storm. I love this picture. I love everything about it. I love that it reminds me that God must be my focus, even when other areas of the horizon may seem brighter for various reasons. I love that storms are beautiful things... that can be VERY scary. I love that the sky is purple and it reminds me how my God is a Mighty and Royal King who is in control. I love how the lightning bolts are never straight, always twisting and turning like life and its problems, but how the cross is so strong and straight. There is no confusion in the cross... because God is not ever confused. He knows the plans He has for us. He knows that He has marked out and numbered our steps. He knows that when we feel too weak, His strength will carry us through. I also love how this picture reminds me of when Jesus calmed the winds and the waves. He is not just my Jesus who holds me and heals me, but He is the VERY GOD who created the Heavens and the Earth. He was, is, and is to come... and because of all those things... He is MORE than capable to calm this storm in my heart. What's my job? Easy. "Be still, and KNOW that I am GOD."

A Dozen...

12 days until I'm home. 1 dozen. I can't wait. Although, I have to be honest~ this morning when I walked into my room that is missing all its decorations I got teary at what I missed the most... my students. Every morning I would ask them to show me their smiles. It helped us start the day in a better mood. I realized today, I'm never going to see those 24 smiles again... and it got me choked up inside. 1 dozen days left in a place where 2 dozen students found a place in my heart forever.