I'm a journaler. I love it. I'm not sure when along the way I started journaling, but it helps me sort things out. I have many journals that I've never finished, but my pride and joy are the ones that I have... and I love to look back and see how God has moved in my life.
Today in my quiet time after church I was journaling about how my life is going to have a new look to it very soon. I'm a little nervous about moving to Alabama. I'm not freak-out nervous, because let's be for real... I survived moving to Puerto Rico for a year where I knew no one, and didn't speak the language. So I feel like... this can't be
that hard! During my quiet time I was trying to really focus in on what some of the relationships I am striving to develop in Alabama are. Here's the list I came up with. I'd love for you to pray that God establishes these relationships and fills this need in my life. I'm also praying for these same relationships for Scott as well. Some of them he already has established, but others he is missing. So... if you think of it- throw a shout up for us!
1. A small group / life group.
I was involved in a small group back home through my home church South Fork, and I LOVED it! Tuesday nights were the best! It was a time of crazy transition in all of our lives, and it was great to have a support network there. This group of people provided not only prayer and support, but encouragement, laughter, and let's face it... kick butt potlucks!!
2. An accountability partner.
I don't know about you... but I can sure slip off track in various areas of my life. Accountability is crucial for me. I've had accountability in many forms... and I remember when I first started how I didn't really want to share the things I knew I would be "held accountable" for... but then, what really was the point? I'm now at the point where I'll call two women in my life just to tell them my screw ups and ask for prayer. It has helped me learn lessons of humility and helped me put a better focus on prayer and its power in my life. So... although I can still call these women, I would love to have a closer partner to add to the mix. The more the merrier right? Well, maybe not if you're Job, but otherwise... lol.
3. A Prayer Group.I don't currently have one of these. Sure, I have people who are committed to praying for me, and I LOVE THAT! But... I would love to have a group of women that I meet with once a week to pray with about our own specific needs in our lives and those of our families.
4. A Christian Mentor Woman.
Again, I have two of these women in my life right now, and they bless me abundantly. They have counseled me and taught me by example for years. Their impact on my life is undeniable, though I guarantee that both women would say (in their humble ways) that they haven't done much of anything. I say... BOGUS. They have been tools and instruments that God has specifically used in my life time and time again. I am very thankful for them. This is similar to the accountability need... yes, I can call them, and I still do... even in Puerto Rico, but I'd like to also add someone from Alabama.
5. A Small Group of Girls
I led a group of high school girls back home in IL (also through my home church South Fork) and I absolutely LOVED every minute of it! We had sleepovers at my house...ate a mad amount of Hamburger Helper with chips and salsa, and took a lot of silly pictures. But... somewhere in the mix of that... we shared our lives and our growing pains. It was harder than any of them will ever realize for me to say goodbye to them when I left for Puerto Rico. At first, some of them were mad at me... "how can you leave us?" "You're supposed to be here for all of high school!" "What am I going to do now?" The questions flew at me like rapid fire. My answer was this... "You will see your faith grow as you stand more and more on your own two feet... and you will call me... but I HAVE to go. What kind of a leader would I be for you if I preached out of one side of my mouth for you to follow God's will in your life, and then lived my life in an opposite way?" They came around, just like I knew they would. They have been wonderful encouragers while I've been gone. And guess what? They've learned that their phones can call Puerto Rico at any time of the night, and I'm gonna be there on the other end. It will work that way in Alabama too ladies... =) I'm not looking for a group of girls to replace them, because that is not possible. I'm looking for a new group of girls to help through the journey of the teenage years. It's hard... I lived it, and I wouldn't want to do it over again, but I would love to help someone else survive through it... and grown into a woman of God. Watching young ladies grow into women is an extraordinary process, and one I've felt privileged to partake in. I'm praying that God will bless me with that opportunity again.
I believe with all my heart that God will provide and bless my life with these relationships in HIS time. I am anxious to meet the people who will impact my life forever... and grow with them in our love for the Lord!
I have been amazed by how eagerly everyone here has been to share however little or much they have with me. Whether it's a car ride, a shower, or rice and beans, people were never hesitant to help me in any way they could. It's made me so much more aware of just how much we have... and how much God has blessed us. I think I'll always be a little more ready to pass on my blessings from now on...
Now, I've always thought I was a pretty grounded person in most regards. I don't feel like I'm someone who has to have the newest and latest of everything... but I learned true appreciation during my stay here. My house does not have hot water... which means that I was never able to take a hot shower. Don't worry, you get used to the cold showers more quickly than you'd think, and honestly, with as hot as it gets here... sometimes they are nice =) Anyways... I thought God was teaching me a good lesson about appreciating the blessings in my life... even the little ones, and I was okay with learning the lesson. Well... apparently He thought I needed a little more intensive course, because our shower broke. I mean... no water comes out of it through the shower head, or the bath faucet. 2 1/2 months later and a gallon jug that's become my new best friend... I'm ready for a shower. A REAL shower. I don't even care if it's hot or not. I've had some people here ask me how I dealt with that... and I told them my honest answer~ at first I was irritated, but then when I was dumping water on my head I was reminded of how many people would give anything for what I had... clean water. Once you think about it like that... it doesn't seem so bad.
I don't have a car here. It didn't seem like it was worth the hassle for one year... Luckily, I've had some wonderful people who, by now, must feel like a taxi service for me! Even with all of their kind help of transporting me to places I needed to go... I still missed the ability to just get up and "go" whenever I wanted to. Where I live you can't really go for walks... it's hard to explain, but if you were to see it, you'd understand. I felt very cramped inside of a room a lot of the time... so before you complain next time that you're bored... or there's nothing to do... really think about what you're saying. There are endless opportunities in front of you. Go for a walk. Take a drive. Spend time in a room other than your bedroom... I know I'm looking forward to that.
I have been part of the majority my entire life in so many ways... until July 18th of 2007 when I moved to Puerto Rico. I was in a place where I looked different than everyone around me (Well, kinda. I got confused for a Puerto Rican several times...) I spoke a different language, ate different food, and listened to different music (Hello Country! I can't wait for a radio station that plays that!) The point is, I learned what it felt like to be in the other person's shoes, and I am making it a point not to ever forget that in the future. It has made me more aware of others and their possible needs that I could help with, instead of letting them struggle through on their own. It's made me less egocentric, and more open eyed to those around me, whether I know them or not.
I made it, and I've had fun along the way. A year ago, I was a wide-eyed girl from the farm who had never seen a beach, let a lone an ocean, or even ridden on an airplane... and now I've lived on a tropical island. Crazy, huh? Not really. That's what happens when you let the love of God cast out all fear in your life. Some people think that if you follow the Lord, you're going to have this boring life full of rules... well, this last year of my life has proved to me that that is anything but true... God has grown me and stretched me in so many ways that I cannot even completely even see/know yet. I am not the same girl who came here last summer... my faith has deepened drastically, my view of myself has improved, and I've realized how to utilize the strength within me that comes from the Lord. Never did He leave or forsake me... not even on an island. This has been the best experience of my life, and if you asked me tomorrow to do it over again, I would... without hesitation. I have learned how to live love here... and that's been the most important lesson I could have hoped to learn.
Well an airplane's faster than a Cadillac
To get to me I look around what I got 
Maybe you could pollinate over
To get to meI look around what I got
Above me like a star
Go on hitch a ride On the back of a butterfly 
12 days until I'm home. 1 dozen. I can't wait. Although, I have to be honest~ this morning when I walked into my room that is missing all its decorations I got teary at what I missed the most... my students. Every morning I would ask them to show me their smiles. It helped us start the day in a better mood. I realized today, I'm never going to see those 24 smiles again... and it got me choked up inside. 1 dozen days left in a place where 2 dozen students found a place in my heart forever.
5. A Small Group of Girls
Happy 13th birthday to my oldest nephew... Luke. I was 12 when he was born... I was in 6th grade and the proudest aunt you've ever seen! My how time flies! I'm loving watching him grow up into a man! He's off to enjoy a Cardinals game with his dad today. Hope you have a great day bud! Miss you so much and love you even more!
As I sit on the 2 week mark until I arrive home after my year as a missionary teacher, I'm not sure what my heart truly feels. I am full of excited and joyful feelings about going home to see my family, friends and Scott, but I am sad to leave this place that the Lord brought me to as well. It's been the most amazing year of my life. I have went through some of the hardest moments I ever imagined... and God was my strength through every one of them. He has been shaping me more and more, and that delights me beyond belief. The shaping has not always been easy, but well worth it.
I have compared the end of the year/beginning of a new year of an elementary teacher to seeing your ex boyfriend with his new woman...stick with me here...
I know this comparison is an odd one, and nothing short of that... but it struck me last year when I was teaching that the similarities do exist. How curious to love them and then let them go... but then again, I suppose that when I become a parent I will learn daily lessons on this concept... that's why it's important to live out Proverbs 22:6~
But to my kids of 3-2 at CDS... I love you all... my little Puerto Rican Cuties!
